Here’s the Eatsdropper Making Love to the Corn

Because I update the blog so infrequently and yet am also unemployed, I'm sure you assume I'm just sit around all day, watching Oprah and eating bon-bons. But no! I'm a busy man! I do stuff! For example, I was recently a pickle judge at the Eat Real Festival in Oakland last month. Yes, it's true, I am an arbiter of pickleness. Also, I write … just not here. I've had a few things go up this week that I'm pleased with, and want to share with you: I did a blog post, tutorial and slideshow on canning tomatoes for the Cooking Channel's website; coincidentally I kicked off my work with SF Weekly's blog SFoodie by covering tomatoes as well; and I had the honor of doing a little intro for a book on vintage home ec wisdom for the always fabulous Leite's Culinaria. So with all this writing and pickle-critiquing, it's a damn good thing I have others out there with their ears peeled for audibles worth a good belly laugh. I've got a few myself this time. Enjoy.

Edie: “It’s like the whole climate has menopause”

    - Eatsdropped by yours truly at Brett & Elan’s wedding

One diner to another: “Tripe is a kind of fish, right?”

    - Eatsdropped by Elan at Contigo

Guy, reading poster: “Putting the Food Back in Fast”
Other guy: “But it wasn't fast…”

    - Eatsdropped by yours truly at the Eat Real Festival

Girl, waiting in beer line: “You know, I think I just realized I don't like the word squirt.”
Boy with her: “Squirt is not a good word.”

    - Eatsdropped by yours truly at the Eat Real Festival

Customer: “Are your items baked in-house?”
Bakery Worker: “No, they are provided by a bakery called The Pastry Box.”
Customer: “Are they fresh?”
Bakery Worker: “Yes, they're very fresh.”
Customer: “I'm thinking about getting the Chocolate Torte.”
Bakery Worker [proudly exclaims]: “Oh, that one is so fresh that it's probably still a little frozen in the center.”

    - Eatsdropped by Allen at a high-end grocery store in Vancouver

Son: "Mom, I'm going to buy you a turkey. The kind without the wings."
Mother: "No. I can get the small piece at Wal-Mart for $1.87. It's enough for me for the week."
Son: "No. Mom. For the whole month!"
Mother: "No. It's too much. That one is perfect for me. I have to watch myself."

    - Eatsdropped by Genie in the waiting room at Kaiser Permanente

Dude, referring to HapaSF: "That's not really Filipino. It's organic."

    – Eatsdropped by Arnold in line for Señor Sisig

Over the loudspeaker: "Evan, you have a small package…a small package… downstairs."

    - Eatsdropped by Michael at Whole Foods

Man showing photos from his trip to a friend:
    "Here's me eating the corn. And here's me making love to the corn."

    - Eatsdropped by Genie at DSM

  • Funny, I was just talking to the hubby this afternoon about how fun it would be to make love to some corn.

  • Paula, you’d fit right in in Iowa. 😉
    Great round-up, Sean!

  • Gudrun

    The frozen cake cracks me up!

  • {laugh} I remember when Michael tweeted about Evan and his small package. I feel sorry for Evan all over again. And of course I am laughing hysterically all over again.

  • OMG, I’m cracking up over the frozen chocolate torta and the organic-but-not-really Filipino food.

  • EB

    Is the whole climate my mother?

  • These all made me laugh. Thanks! And, I did not realize you were unemployed. It sounds as though you are plenty busy though, doing fun things. Lucky you!

  • Anavar

    Great laugh. Thanks for sharing.