Occupy Ding Dongs

As I’m sure you’re aware by now, Hostess has decided to shut down operations, citing financial duress due to union strikes. Although the CEO took a 300% raise while cutting employee wages and benefits, it couldn’t be from bad management. That’s crazy talk.

I’m sympathetic to the workers who will lose their jobs as a result of this decision, but I find it hard otherwise to get too weepy-eyed about it. Hostess is responsible for producing a huge cavalcade of crap products that I personally have not eaten since childhood, and even then didn’t care for. From that weird, spongy Wonder Bread to the not-found-in-nature shade of the pink coconut shavings on Sno-Balls to the most reviled of all snack “foods,” the Twinkie, these products are to my mind abominations of the American diet, weapons of mass destruction in every lunchbox.

Unfortunately, I also am pretty sure that most if not all of these chemical delivery mechanisms will get acquired and produced by some other dietary malefactor; I don’t need to name names of the likely.

And hey, I’ve got a better idea: Make your own! Occupy Ding Dongs! Just grab a copy of Classic Snacks Made from Scratch by Casey Barber, which is full of recipes on how to replicate the crap in cellophane pouches using real ingredients. You can have your snack cake and eat it, too.

  • I would like to occupy a Ding Dong! Wait, that sounded wrong…