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The Eatsdropper wants a smarge

It must be summer, cuz there’s been a huge harvest of Eatsdroppings lately. Serve them forth at eatsdropper-at-seantimberlake-dot-com.


Woman #1: "Oh, look at those blueberries!  I love blueberries right now!"
Woman #2: "Well, sure blueberries taste good, but you eat them for the anti-oxidants more than anything."
Woman #1: "Right."

– Eatsdropped by Jeanne at Marin Farmers Market

Customer, pointing to sunflowers: "What do people usually do with these?"
Vendor: "Put them in a vase."

– Eatsdropped by Jen and Cookiecrumb at the Marin Farmers Market

Customer, at Frog Hollow Farms stand:
"This is that place where they make these Peach Pies with, like … you  know … peaches."

– Eatsdropped by David at Ferry Plaza Farmers Market

One woman to another: "Hey, I’m going to get some coffee while we wait. Do you want anything?"
Second woman: "Sure! Can you get me a small coffee, but in a large cup? I like a lot of milk in my coffee."
First woman:
"Oh, you want a smarge!"
Second woman:
"Huh?"
First woman:
"A smarge! A small in a large cup! Get it? (shrugs) Well. That’s what we call it where I come from."

– Eatsdropped by Jennifer at SFO departures lounge

Girl: "We could go to the Fortune Cookie Factory."

Guy:
"Can we see the fortune writers?"
Girl:
"I’m pretty sure those are imported."
Guy:
"They outsource the fortune-writing?"
Girl:
"Well, if they don’t, then there’s no reason for why the fortunes don’t make any sense."

– Eatsdropped by Eric on an outbound 1 California bus.


Exasperated man, to woman:
“Do you want to spend our LAST day in Seattle in a BAKERY?”

– Eatsdropped by Matthew on 15th Ave East, Seattle (reproduced with permission)

Man, standing by apples: "What kind?"

His wife, across the aisle:
"Oh, just pick something. (pause) Just not green, yellow, or red."

– Eatsdropped by Anita at Tower Market

My friend Matthew: "All dogs’ paws smell like Fritos."

– Eatsdropped by yours truly at my house.

This Post Has 13 Comments
  1. Oh, I do love that last one about dog paws. I’d not noticed that before. I’ll have to start sniffing friend’s dog’s paws now.

  2. LOL! So *that’s* what my dog’s paws smell like! The smell is familiar but I never quite placed it until now. No wonder she’s always licking her paws :D.

  3. I love retail smart alec answers. I used to work at a bakery where we kept a running list of stupid customer questions. One of my favorites was. “What does your chocolate cake taste like?”

  4. Frito-paws. It’s what I miss the most when I’m on the road. Sigh.
    I am guilty of an apple-ism myself. C once asked me what kind of apples I wanted, and I believe my exact words were, “anything, just not the Delicious ones.”
    Snark away.

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