Man walking into Tartine:
"I’m not really concerned because in my life I’ve knocked over, like, ONE glass of water."
Boss: "Where should we eat after the movies tonight?"
Coworker: "You could go to Monk’s Kettle."
Boss: "Hmm. Will it be OK for my vegetarian boyfriend?"
Coworker: "Well, it’s … food."
– Eatsdropped by Anita at work
Husband to wife: "How come you never let me do kinky stuff like eat off your boobies?"
Wife to husband: "What, like whipped cream?"
Husband to wife: "No, I hate whipped cream. I was thinking more of a pastrami sandwich."
– Eatsdropped anonymously
Little girl pulling back on even smaller boy’s arm, to let 30-somethings pass:
"You have to wait for the ELDERS!"
Waitess: “The bartender wanted me to tell you these are house-made Harrison cherries.”
Ditzy girl digging into a decidedly not non-fat pizza with her boyfriend: "This is non-fat, right?"
Boyfriend, appeasing her: "Yes."
Older woman to older man after he was admiring meats he can’t eat:
"I’m so sorry. I feel so bad for you. I just feel so bad for you."
Server delivering drink with orchid:
“You can eat it. It tastes terrible but it’s edible.”
– Eatsdropped by yours truly at Red Lantern