So it seems that you, my beloved readers, really, really want to know that I’m gay, and that discussing my sexuality will make this a better blog — a better food blog, no less. Well, I’ve never made any secret of that fact here, but I’ve always believed in transparency and full disclosure. As such, I offer the following.

The Peacock Tree.

We purchased it from Gump’s, so you already know we’re on a slippery slope here. It’s a 5-foot-tall artificial tree sporting, in lieu of needles, 1"-diameter mylar sequins. Predominantly teal, they have variations in color, leaning bluer or greener and occasionally even flashing yellow-orange.

Yes, I know, it looks like Cher molted all over it. But, because this is such an exceptional food blog, we simply had to gay it up even more. First of all, 5′ is not a particularly fabulous height (trust me, I know whereof I speak), so we had to jack it up a bit. To create the illusion of virgin snow, DPaul swathed the tree’s milk carton pedestal with no fewer than three white boas, nestling in precious little red brocade boxes to complete the holiday illusion.

OK, almost there. But how could we gay this up just a skosh more? I know! Let’s put it in front of a teal, spangled drapery panel and a chair with matching pillows, and a David Hockney poster of West Hollywood! Yeah, that’ll do it. Now that’s making the yuletide gay.

But lest you  think we could contain our fabulousness to just one corner of the house, read on.